Beberapa waktu yang lalu sebuah media memberitakan tentang seorang wanita Amerika yang menganiaya seorang lelaki yang diduga pacarnya. Diduga karena motif cemburu, wanita itu –maaf- memotong kemaluan pacarnya hingga tidak tertolong nyawanya. Ini adalah sebuah kasus di antara banyaknya kasus-kasus sejenis yang telah terjadi. Dan penyebabnya hanya simple. Karena cemburu terhadap kekasihnya. Walah, ternyata cemburu merupakan persoalan serius yang kudu kita pahami ilmunya. Jika tidak, bisa jadi cemburu akan membawa kita kegelisahan bahkan bencana seperti contoh kasus yang saya paparkan tadi.
Lalu apa cemburu itu? Dalam bahasa Arab, cemburu biasa disebut ghirah. Tapi ghirah tidak hanya bermakna cemburu. Ia juga bisa bermakna semangat. Jadi secara tidak langsung, ada kaitan erat antara cemburu dengan semangat. Bisa kita umpamakan dengan contoh yang positif, bahwa cemburu adalah rasa tidak senang atau tidak suka ketika melihat hal-hal yang bisa menjerumuskan pasangan kepada kemaksiatan. Maka di sinilah rasa cemburu itu adalah cemburu yang sebenar-benarnya. Cemburu yang tidak bertolak belakang dengan kosa kata bahasa Arabnya, ghirah. Karena, jika seseorang merasa takut pasangannya akan terjerumus pada hal-hal yang tidak ia inginkan, katakanlah perselingkuhan, maka ia akan menasihati pasangannya dengan rasa cinta dan karena ghirah itu sendiri. Bukan atas nama kepentingan pribadi atau karena takut kehilangan. Walau pun sikap posesif terhadap pasangan adalah hal yang wajar selama itu tidak berlebihan.
Untuk bisa memahami cemburu yang sebenarnya dan sesuai dengan rasa cemburu dengan kata konotasi ghirah itu, mari kita perhatikan petikan hadits berikut.
“Dari Mughirah bin Syu’bah ra, ia berkata; Sa’ad bin Ubadah berkata: Seandainya aku mendapati seorang lelaki beserta istriku, maka aku akan menikam orang itu dengan pedang tampa ampun. Sampailah apa yang diucapkan Sa’ad bin Ubadah itu ke telingga Rasulullah, lantas beliau bersabda: Apakah kalian kagum terhadap kecemburuan sa’ad? Demi Allah. Aku lebih cemburu daripadanya dan Allah lebih cemburu lagi daripada aku. Demi kecemburuan itulah, Allah mengharamkan segala kejahatan. Baik yang tampak maupun yang tersembunyi. Tidak ada yang lebih cemburu daripada Allah, dan tidak ada yang lebih menyukai pengampuanan dari pada Allah. Demi itulah Allah mengutus para rasul sebagai penyampai kabar gembira dan pemberi peringatan dan tidak ada seorang pun yang menyenangi pujian daripada Allah, dan dengan itulah Allah menjanjikan surga.” (HR. Muslim)
Jadi, rasa tidak suka seseorang terhadap pasangan (baca: cemburu), ketika pasangannya melakukakan hal-hal yang bertentangan dengan syariat dan cenderung maksiat, itulah rasa cemburu yang patut kita jadikan landasan. Dan itu menjadi barometer dari ghirah keagamaan yang baik bagi seorang hamba. Tak memandang ia perempuan tau pun laki-laki.
Manajemen cemburu
Sebuah penelitian menyebutkan bahwa kaum Hawa lebih cemburu daripada kaum Adam. Dan rasa cemburu itu bisa bermacam-macam motif dan penyebabnya. Bahkan ada yang sangat posesif terhadap pasangannya, yang lebih kita kenal dengan cemburu buta.
Jangan sampai rasa cemburu yang membakar hati membuatnya hidup tak tenang dan selalu negative thingking terhadap pasangan. Perlu adanya tindakan-tindakan komprehensif untuk mencegah efek negatif dari cemburu itu sendiri.
Di bawah ini adalah tips-tips untuk mengelola rasa cemburu yang tak wajar menjadi cemburu yang elegan
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Komunikasi yang baik
Biasakanlah untuk selalu berkomunikasi secata terbuka dan apa adanya. Jika anda merasa curiga atau ada tanda-tanda bahwa pasangan tidak setia. Katakanlah hal yang sebenarnya. Baik secara terang-terangan atau sindiran. Syukur-syukur itu hanya perasaan anda saja. Karena bisa jadi kenyataannya tidak sesuai dengan persangkaan kita.
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Jauhi sikap temperamental
Berusahalah untuk bersikap wajar di hadapan pasangan kita. Sikap temperamental hanya membuat pasangan kita merasa frustasi dan justru membuatnya merasa tidak dihargai, alih-alih merasa dicurigai secara berlebihan dan tanpa alasan yang jelas. Selain itu, sikap temperamental hanya membuat rasa cinta luntur dan membaut hubungan semakin memburuk
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Luangkan waktu berdua dengan pasangan kita
Sisihkan waktu dari kesibukan aktifitas kita untuk pasangan. Jadikan momen bersama tersebut untuk memperbaharui hubungan dan komuniksai dua arah yang romantis dan positif.
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Hindari curhat ke orang lain
Biasanya ada orang yan lebih merasa enjoy menceritakan rasa cemburunya kepada teman karibnya. Biasanya ini terjadi pada kaum perempuan. Alih-alih memberi perbaikan, yang ada malah membuka aib suami dan menjadikan wibawa keluarga anda jatuh di hadapan orang lain.
Jadi, sebesar apa pun rasa cemburu kita, bingkailah ia dengan ghirah yang sesuai dengan apa yang Allah gariskan. Jadikan rasa cemburu anda sebagai evaluasi anda dan pasangan anda tampa adanya hal-hal negatif yang menyertainya. Insya allah, rumah tangga anda selalu aman dan jauh dari konflik. Well, jangan sampai hanya gara-gara cemburu, rumah tangga menjadi tidak menentu.[]
Siapa?, anak mana sih?, kita gi ngomongin siapa ya? Mba andnia, ungkapan hati yg sederhana, namun penuh tanda tanya? Tanya aja ama cowonya langsung NGaku, kemarin jalan ama siapa!!! hehe
I didn’t know where to find this info then kaboom it was here.
Mantap…! untuk dijadikan pegangan dalam hidup, biar gak gampang cemburu ketika pasangan kita bersama orang lain.
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